Memories of the past
by KagomeGirl92
Summary: Crossover with Princess Mononoke. Haku's past. What if he would have been raised by humans and Chihiro actually wasn't his first love? Read and find out! R&R!
1. Chapter 1

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Memories of the past

Hi! This is my eighth fic. I wanted to write this about Haku's past, so that we could see that even some point, he was loved and taken care of. I thought that 'Hmm, he's a god, he must have lived for centuries now'. Then I just thought what series happen in the past, and the answer was of course my another favourite movie, Princess Mononoke, that I had just seen! It would have been Inuyasha too, but I thought it didn't really fit. So here it is, enjoy

English is not my first language and I don't own either one of the series! They both belong to the great god of anime Mr Hayao Miyazaki-sama!

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It had been three years since the Shishi-gami had died, three years since the _Princess Mononoke_. San and Ashitaka had seen each other often, like they had promised and they had also mated last year. Ashitaka had now more time for San, since the Tatara Ba's rebuilding was done. For now, he was visiting there for this day, so San had thought she'd take a small walk in the forest. Forest had grown fast back. San had became more soft and trusting with Ashitaka by her side. She smiled, it had all worked out nicely.

Then suddenly, she heard something. When it continued, San realised it was baby's cry. She suspected it to fade soon, but it didn't. She decided to go look what took so long for the baby's parents to make their child to calm down.

She followed the cries and soon came near the crying child. She looked carefully from the bushes. Though she didn't now hate humans as passionately as she used to, she still didn't really like to show off to them. Besides, she had learned human men could be troublesome, from the tales Ashitaka told her about Tatara Ba. So, she'd rather stay hidden.

Then, she noticed that there wasn't any adult humans there. Only a small baby, crying all alone, next to river with a small clothe on it. San checked for the last time there was no other humans around and came then out from the bushes and walked next to the baby. She could smell that it was a boy. His scent was very faint, so he couldn't be more than hour or two old. But why he was all alone here? And so young? San kneeled down to the baby.

"Hey, hey, don't cry. What happened to you, where are your parents?" she said. The baby stopped crying and opened his big eyes. San saw they were pure green as the brightest emerald or the clearest trees of the forest. He also had a little bit of dark green hair on his head.

'I guess he was abandoned…just like me. I just can't leave him, he's so tiny and helpless. Ashitaka should come back soon, I'll talk with him what we should do with you'

And with that, she took the baby in her arms and ran softly away. Back to her and Ashitaka's hut, that they had built together to the forest. She saw light inside of it and suggested Ashitaka had already arrived. She also saw Yakkuru eating near the hut. She said hi to him and then walked inside of the hut.

"Tadaima!" she said (A/N: Tadaima: I'm back/I'm home)

"Okaerinasai" San heard familiar deep voice.

(Okaerinasai: Welcome home, welcome back. It's the formal version. Less formal is "Okaeri")

San sat down on the floor, next to her mate. She loved Ashitaka so deeply that she never thought she would love someone so. She was so happy to have him around, nothing made her happier that to be with him, as his mate.

"What's with that child? You didn't kill anyone, did you?" Ashitaka asked. He trusted San, but still knew she had bitterness towards humans.

"No, I found him lying all alone next to a river, crying. I think his parents left him there. But it's so strange, his scent is really faint, so he can't be even day old. I can't understand why someone would abandon their son with such young age"

"World is cold these days"

"Guess so…But I just couldn't leave him there. Do you think that someone at Tatara Ba could take him in?"

"I don't think so…Everyone are quite suspecting towards everyone outside of Tatara Ba. I don't think they could take a child form outside either"

"Then, what should we do? We can't just leave him alone, can we?"

"No…But, you know, we could always raise him. I mean, he needs a home and we have plenty of empty places here."

"We? Could we really do it? I really don't know anything about children, except that they need a lot care"

"Well, we can give him that, can't we? I know some stuff about children, since I almost raised Kaya. What do you think, should we take him in?"

"I…I think it would be wonderful. But at first, don't you think we should give him a proper name?"

"Yes, I really think we should"

"You can decide it. I don't really know human names"

Ashitaka smiled. During their time together, San had learned to accept her humanity and that someday, she would have human children as well, though she liked to call her future children "pups".

"Well…How about Kohaku?"

"Kohaku? Amber?"

"Right, and Little White also, I mean, look how pale he is. It was also name of my grandfather"

"I think it fits him well. Kohaku it is then"


	2. Chapter 2

It had been five years since San and Ashitaka had taken poor Kohaku in. Right after that day, not even a second they had thought him as an outsider. He was a part of the family and they loved him just like their very own son. San often compared this to that when Moro had taken her as her own daughter. Now, they also had an own child, three-year-old daughter, named Kaya. San let Ashitaka choose all their children's names, since she really **didn't** know human names. She thought all the names he decided were good. Ashitaka had wanted to give that name to respect his dear sister back in his village he never got to return. Kaya had her father's hair(though it was not so messy) and her mother's eyes.

Kohaku was now five-year-old small boy. From the right beginning, Ashitaka and San realised he was a very, very special child. As a baby, he almost never cried. He learned to walk at age of half year and year later he was able to speak like an adult. He had wanted to learn how to read at the age of two and half, and now he knew host of even the most difficult characters of Kanji. Hiragana and Katakana characters he had learned almost right away when his father had started to teach him.

He no longer looked the same either. He now had a dark green hair down on his shoulders messily, much like his father's. And his eyes, they were even more beautiful than five years ago. They were deeper and full of emotion and life. San often laughed as she said that older Kohaku would be quite popular among girls, since his eyes could easily capture any woman's heart.

As for his family, he loved them all very much. He was close to them all. They hardly ever had fights. With his father, he learned humanly things, like reading and writing, and to eat form bowl, with his mother he learned wolf ways, like hunting and howling. With them both he learned fighting skills and he was quite strong to have such a small body. As for his little sister, she was maybe the most precious to him. He loved her very much and was quite protective over her. Kaya used to say "If you continue that way, I'll never get married", in which Kohaku answered "Well, I wouldn't mind if you didn't, because I love you". In fact, he really did. Though he was young, his feelings for his sister were really strong and mature. Another thing that made him special. Kaya seemed to love him as well very much and she always wanted him to read to her and tell stories that he made up himself. "Ani-sama, read to me please" she always used to say.

Though all this happiness, he always could feel an empty place in his heart. He didn't understand it. He had all he needed and he loved his life. Though he didn't have any friends, it couldn't be it, because he didn't have them only because he didn't want to make any. He was happy to just have his family. He always had Kaya to play with. Kaya didn't have any friends either.

He had asked it from his parents, but they weren't been able to answer him. They only said that it was his destiny that wasn't filled yet. He believed them. Someday, he would find out about his destiny and fulfil it.

It was spring now. Kohaku and Kaya loved spring. Specially at this time, because the Sakura trees were in full blooms.

"Ani-sama, why do the Sakura trees bloom only in the spring?" Kaya asked hi and they walked through the pink flowery trees.

"Because in the summer, they are in berries, in the autumn they lose their leaves and in the winter they get strength for the new flowers. Every season has their own job with these trees"

"Wow. Does the seasons have a job with us as well?"

"I think they do. In the spring we start training, since the weather gets warmer, the summer is a season for relaxing, autumn is for hunting and preparing for the winter, and the winter is too for relaxing and playing in the snow"

"You are so wise, Ani-sama. Will I ever be as wise as you are?"

"I'm sure you will, Kaya. But you don't have to be. I love you as you are" he said at least twentieth time.

"Kohaku, Kaya! Where are you?" They heard voices of their parents.

"Hey, let's hide" Kohaku suggested and pointed a bush that had formed from Sakura flower's leaves.

They did so and went to hide there. They heard their steps of their parents.

"Now, where did they go. I know they enjoy the spring time, but they don't always have to get so far away from home" San said

"Shh. Look" Ashitaka whispered to her. San looked and saw a little bit of dark green in a Sakura-flower-leave-bush.

They walked quietly nearer.

"One, two, three!"

With that they pulled their children out of the bush. They got all covered with Sakura leaves, but no one of them cared. They just laughed together. Now Kohaku really felt that he didn't need anything else in his life. It empty place disappeared and soon it was like it never even had existed.


	3. Chapter 3

More years passed. Kohaku was now twelve-year-old boy. He now had two more siblings. Twins at age of six. A boy and a girl. Their names were Hana and Takeshi. They both had their mother's hair and their father's eyes, though Takeshi's hair was a little darker than her mother's and sister's. Kohaku loved them too very much and taught them much stuff. But they were not as precious to him as Kaya. Now he really knew he was in love with her. He still aid "I love you" to her, but he felt like she didn't know in what way he meant it.

It was a midsummer now. It was a hot day, so the whole family was at a lake that was behind the forest. They were all swimming and just having fun. They laughed and relaxed. Kohaku was telling stories again to Kaya. But then suddenly, both Ashitaka and San sensed something unfamiliar.

"Something's coming…" San said to her mate

"Not something, someone. A human"

San growled angrily.

"We better get our pups back home. It's not safe here anymore" Ashitaka said

"Yes" San agreed

"…And then princess Kyoko said to her brave savour, "Sir, how can I ever repay you for what you've done for me?", "Nothing, because there's only one thing even you can't give me. That's the thing I desire", Sir Sakataki answered" Kohaku told the tale to Kaya.

"Everyone! Let's go home, something's happening and it might not be safe here anymore!" Ashitaka called.

"Alright, 'Tousan!" Kohaku answered and took Kaya's hand, helping her to get up. Then he looked that Hana and Takeshi were coming. When they came away from water, he took Hana's hand as well and then took all his siblings to his parents.

"We're ready, let's go"

"Right"

They all ran. So very fast. Hana was in Kohaku's back and Takeshi on his mother's. Kaya was already big enough to run on her own. Soon they reached their home hut.

"I hope they won't come here" San said

"I wonder what they even want here. We've been in peace for years, it's not like they like to fight at war or anything"

"They are here!" San said

"_Ashitaka, We ask you to come outside. If you don't, we will have to take your family to this mess as well. So, just come out and everything's fine."_ A voice came from outside.

"Don't go, Ashitaka! It's a trap" San said

"I know it is, but…I can't risk you. Keep the pups inside and safe, alright?"

"Alright"

And with that, Ashitaka stepped outside of the hut. Some minutes passed, then San gasped

"I smell blood! Ashitaka's blood!"

They all hurried out of the hut. Only to see the most horrible sight. There was a monk man, who was short, and he had put a sword right through Ashitaka's chest!

"ASHITAKAAAAAA!" San screamed

"San-chan…Gomen ne…"

With that, Ashitaka died. San hurried to his side, Kohaku and Kaya came right after her. They were all crying horribly

"You! Jiko! Why did you have to do this!" San screamed to the monk

"Simple, once, you ruined my happiness, now it's my turn to ruin yours, right? If your hadn't stopped me when the Shishi-gami died, this would not have happened! Think of it, Princess Mononoke! But do not worry, you'll join your mate soon enough" he said and tried to knife San with his sword as well, but was stopped by something that glowed blue.

"Kohaku!"

"You bastard! You killed my dad! I will not forgive you!" Kohaku screamed, still glowing blue. Then, the used a weird power and casted it on a tree nearby. It destroyed the whole tree!

"I could easily kill you too just like that, but I'm not going to. It's not what 'Tousan would have wanted. But, leave now, and never return. If you do, I **will **kill you"

Jiko looked really frightened and ran away.

"Ani-sama.."(Kaya)

"Aniki…"(Takeshi)

"Ani…"(Hana)

The blue glowing slowly left.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been so long. No one of the family really didn't know how long. They had burned Ashitaka's body and taken his clothes. San was still in pain, but she tried to stay strong for her precious pups. Kohaku too, he felt pain, but he felt he had to be strong, since he was the oldest. He had promised he wouldn't cry anymore. He couldn't cry anymore. Yakkuru had died years ago, saddened by his master's death.

The strange thing was that not one of them aged a day after Ashitaka's death. But not one of them cared. Happiness seemed to have lost. Then, one day San called them all to meeting.

"My children, I know this has been hard for all of us, but all of you must know the truth. The truth of you, Kohaku, my son" she said

"About me?"

"Yes. You're adopted"

"What?"

"You're adopted. I found you the day you were born, lying all alone next to a small river. I've always thought this, but when Ashitaka died I was sure for the first time. I think you're a god of that river and you're supposed to protect it. That's the empty place you felt in your heart when you were younger. It explains why you're so special and your spiritual powers and maturity. It also explains why we haven't aged. Since we are near you, we won't age, like you don't either. But, unlike you, though we won't age, we will die. I know it's been longer time than we think from Ashitaka's death. It's been fifty years now. And soon, I will die, out of old age. But before it happens, I want to get you back to your river. It's the place you have to live after we all die. You have to live, Kohaku. But that you're adopted never changed that we love you" San said slowly.

"That's…So unbelievable"

"I know. But you have to accept it. Please. Can you leave with me tomorrow morning? I think I don't have much more than a day or two to live" San asked

"…Alright, but only for you, 'Kaasan. And for 'Tousan as well"

"Thank you. Now, let's got to sleep, so we can get up early"

It was night. Kohaku couldn't sleep. He was just thinking this all. And he thought about 'Tousan. He wondered, had he ever loved him?

"Kohaku…Kohaku, are you awake?"

"'Kaasan?"

"Yes, please come outside with me, I've got something for you"

Kohaku followed San outside

"Here, I want you to have these" she said. Kohaku could see her beautiful suffered face in the moonlight.

"But…These are dad's clothes. And this is the precious crystal dagger he gave to you. These are way too precious, I can't take them" Kohaku said and tried to push them back to his mother.

"Don't disrespect me and you fahter by refusing. You have to understand this now. Fifty years have passed since Ashitaka died. I'm over eighty years old. Kaya is sixty and Hana and Takeshi are fifty-six. We will all die soon. I must do this last journey with you, then I'll die. If not naturally, then from my own hand. Your siblings will also die in few tens of years. So please, take then and keep them safe. When we will meet again in the next life, these will be the proof for us, who you are."

"Alright. I shall take them, and I thank you for it, 'Kaasan."

Next morning, everybody woke up early as it was said. Kohaku wanted to say goodbyes to his siblings alone. First one was Kaya.

"Ani-sama…I just want you to know that I'll miss you and I'll be always thinking of you…And I want you to know that…Aishiteru, Ani-sama, itsumo aishiteru" (A/N: This means: I love you(strongly), Older brother, always I love you.")

"Kaya…I had no idea…"

"I know you didn't! I didn't want you to know, because I was sure mom and dad would not allow it, but I should have known they would have allowed it, if it only made us happy! I wish I could have realised it sooner!"

"Shh, Kaya it's alright. Aishiteru mo, I always meant it that way when I told it to you. Ever since we were children. I didn't even care we are siblings" Kohaku said as he embraced Kaya thigh.

"Ani-sama…"

"Shh…Let's just be like this for a while."

"Alright, but let me give you a gift. Please, accept this and keep it as a memory of me"

"But…Isn't this your precious pearled necklace?" Kohaku asked. Kaya had once found the pearl from ocean and she had treasured it always very much. Later, their parents had helped her to make a necklace of it.

"Yes, but I want you to have it. It's the symbol of my love for you. Please accept it and keep it as a seal of your memories about me" Kaya begged

"Alright. So I shall. But you know I could never forget you, Kaya. You'll always be my precious"

"And you'll be mine. Let's meet again in the next life"

"Yes."

Then they embraced each other for the next time. Then Kaya called Hana and Takeshi to say their goodbyes together.

"Brother, please accept this gift from both of us" Takeshi said as Hana handed Kohaku a knife that had blood red shiny stones in it.

"Where did you get those stones? Usually it's so hard to find them" Kohaku asked amazed. There was those stones at a river nearby, but they were hard to find. They made knifes and swords much stronger.

"We've had them hidden for some time. We spared them for your birthday, but we decided to give them with this knife we made last night. Please use it and think of us" Hana said. This was surprising, because Hana was shy and hardly talked even to her family.

"So I shall, you'll Always be in my thoughts. Both of you" And then he gave them both a hug.

San also said goodbyes to her children quickly. She said she would not come back. She was dead to them. It was a fate.

"It's time." San said sadly

"Yes. Let's go."

Hana started crying

"Hey, don't cry. We will always benear, though you can't see us. Please, live and understand. Let's meet again, in the next life. We'll bewaiting for you" Kohaku said and patted Hana's head.

"Promise? That we will all be together again someday?" Hana asked

"I promise. To all of you" Kohaku said and looked them all.

"Takeshi, take care of everyone now" he said to his younger brother

"I will! I'll try my best!"

"That's the spirit"

"Kohaku, we really have to go now"

"Yes mother"

With that, they walked away. Neither one dared to look back. It would have been too painful. They travelled the whole day and didn't stop for once. Finally they reached a river. There was now also a village

"Go, my son. It's your destiny. Do it for me, your father and most of all, for yourself. Don't punish yourself anymore. Past is past and the future is the future. So, just go now." San said.

"'Kaasan….Suma ne…" (This means 'Mom…sorry…')

Then, he transformed into a big snakelike white dragon and disappeared to the waters.

San heard some voices from behind her. She turned and saw few men, probably from the village near.

"Wh-what has happened to this river? For years now, it has been all dirty and the water can't be used to anything. But now, all suddenly, it's all clear!" One of the men said

"I think that the spirit of the river was gone for a long, long trip that he has finally returned from. And this river's name is…The Kohaku River. And the one that guards it is known as…Nigihayami Kohaku Nushi" San said faintly. And with those words, life left her body. She died in that position. She felt no pain, she only saw Ashitaka's smiling face before her. He gave her his hand and San gladly took it. Now, they could finally be together at peace…

_"Our son is a god indeed." _San said to Ashitaka

_"Yes…Maybe at the next life we can meet him again…But it's time for us to go now, love. Your mother is waiting for us."_ Ashitaka said and squeezed San's hand gently

_"Yes…"_

And with that, they left this world and stepped to the next.


	5. Chapter 5

Hundreds of years had passed since that day. Kohaku was still guarding his river. These had been long and lonely five hundred years for him, but he managed to hang on, with the wishes of his mother and father on his mind. He missed them dearly. So dearly. That was the reason he now days hated every human child. Most of them had a chance to live with their parents until they were old enough to take care of themselves. He had never had it that way, though he thought he would. He was a god, his parents and siblings were humans. They were now the only humans he didn't hate. He allowed humans to use his river, but it was only because his father had loved all kind of creatures, humans also. He only respected his memory by doing that.

One day, in the middle of 1990s, Kohaku felt something to drop in his river. He was used to it, humans were so careless that they dropped something to his river almost every day. He went to look what it was this time.

'A shoe? A little pink shoe?' he was confused, no one had ever dropped a shoe to his river. Then, suddenly, he hear another plums. He saw it was only a human girl. He transformed into his human from, so that he could see this child to die a little better. He wasn't cruel person really, he just liked to see people die in his river. It made him feel better about death of his poor human parents. One human to lose and many of them would cry. He liked to know that people would suffer, they had all rightful to feel the same pain he had felt ever since his father died.

He swam nearer to the human child. He still appeared in a form of a twelve-year-old boy in his human form, but he could breath under the water. He came to meet the girl's gaze. The girl opened her eyes and gazed back to him. She couldn't be more than five or six year old. Kohaku gasped

_''Kaasan!'_ He thought.

Then, he looked again. No, this was not his mother. They didn't even look alike. This girl had long brown hair and brown eyes, his mother had had greenish short hair and sharp blue eyes. But, their smile…It was completely same. Same innocence…same care.

'One human there or here, might as well save this one. She doesn't look like her but…this girl remains me of mom. For her, I save you.' With that, he transformed again and said with telepathy her

_"Take hold of my horns, young one. I'll get you out of here"_

The girl did what was told and Kohaku carried her up.

_"Go to your parents, young one. They are probably very worried"_

"Ano…Thank you for saving me! My name's Chihiro, we've just moved here! What's your name?"

"…_Kohaku. I'm guardian of this river. Have been for past five hundred years"_

"Wow, a god of a river! Are your parents river guardians too?"

"…_My real ones might have been. But those I call my parents were humans like you. Once I had a family, 'Kaasan, 'Tousan, two sisters and one brother. Now they are all dead"_

"How horrible! And you are forced to be here all alone?"

_"Yes. It's my destiny. But someday, I'll follow them to the next world"_

"Chihiro! Chihiro!"

"That's my mom! Sorry, Kohaku-kun, I have to go now, mommy is calling me. But I'll se you again, okay?"

_"If you just want to, I wouldn't mind"_

"It's a promise, Kohaku-kun! I'll see you again! Ja ne!"

Chihiro ran back to her parents.

'What a strange human girl. Well, it's nice to have someone to take care of, for once' Kohaku thought himself.

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Year later, Kohaku river was taken away and to the position of old Kohaku, became cold and respected assistant of Yubaba, Haku.

Three years later, story of Spirited Away starts….

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Author's comments: Phuuh! It took forever to write this, but it was so much fun! I've probably never enjoyed writing this much! Making a crossover between my two favourite movies and animes…It was just wonderful! I didn't even feel insecure! Not even once!

How was it? Like it? Hate it? Tell me what you think!

By the way, don't get me wrong, I love Chihiro/Haku pairing, as for Kaya, she is dear character to me too(Almost all my OCs are…), I just wanted her to be Kohaku's first love and the one he treasured the most.

Many children of Kaya's age find a love from someone in the same age, who is dear or familiar to them. And who would be better than her protective, wise and gentle Ani-sama? Kohaku probably loved her for her cheerily attitude and gentleness.

I might make a sequel, when Kaya comes back to her dear Ani-sama, making his feelings for Chihiro to wave a bit…Tell me should I do it!


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